Who says I want to?
"Whatever was to my profit, I consider loss for the sake of Christ.
In fact, I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for Whose sake I have lost all things.
I consider them rubbish, that I may gain Christ and be found in Him, not having a righteousness of my own which comes through the law, but that which is through faith in Christ-- the righteousness which comes from God and is by faith.
I want to know Christ and the power of His resurrection, and the fellowship of sharing in His sufferings, becoming like Him in His death, and so in some way to attain to the resurrection of the dead."
Jesus has won for me.
"In all these things, we are more than winners, through Christ Jesus our Lord."