walkin to my house i sfelt my body shreak, i looked down at my feet and saw no shoes what i seen were my toes singing the blues. I felt like cryin cuz im so poor, not even a shoe to make my toes say EEYORe
FO REALZ
Seventeen answers:
Miss 21
2006-04-14 18:27:47 UTC
LOLOLOLOL WHERE DO YOU COME UP WITH THIS STUFF, U FUNNY!! even though it dont make no sense
2006-04-15 01:33:09 UTC
I liked it, but a suggestion: "saw no shoes" is redundant. I would remove it and keep the suspend until the reader read the last line. eg: i looked down and saw my toes singing the blues.
just a suggestion... i am no poet.
whatwhatwhat
2006-04-15 01:32:01 UTC
i like it to be like one of those blues songs where you sort of just speak a line instead of actually singing it, with a harmonica tune at the end of each line, and then you yell "not even a shoe to make my toes say eeyore, i got the blues!!!"
2006-04-15 01:27:19 UTC
Sounds like all the other hip-hop and rap crap out there...probably have a hit on your hands.
There is always someone willing to buy crap music like this....big market these days.
sexymom
2006-04-15 02:25:34 UTC
Are you feeling OK? I think you're feeling pretty blue. I'd get some professional help.
brieze08
2006-04-15 01:26:04 UTC
If your not rich enough for shoes you shouldnt have the internet?
froghoppergal
2006-04-15 01:26:47 UTC
I sounds nice but, im a grl rapper, and i think you need a little more then that. email me sometime. :P
thelittlebugga
2006-04-15 01:25:51 UTC
Be really good if it made i bit more sense sorry
2006-04-15 01:27:28 UTC
lol you probably arent even from the ghetto come live where i am from and come talk to me...
js8incher
2006-04-15 01:27:34 UTC
dude im guessin ur jus bein funny so....hahahahaha
jaytee
2006-04-15 01:27:33 UTC
lol yea its cool and funny just needs to be longer.....
2006-04-15 01:25:37 UTC
yeah tight keep it real
2006-04-15 01:26:17 UTC
Excuse me while I go and barf.
l81ucky
2006-04-15 01:34:29 UTC
i really hope you're joking because, if you're serious, you should really give it up.
2006-04-15 01:25:25 UTC
not bad
♥iluvfoodnetwork♥
2006-04-15 01:24:43 UTC
huh?
2006-04-15 01:27:16 UTC
dum?
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